BernieMovies like Bernie
- Key Features:
- Dark comedy, True crime, Small-town life, Black humor, Based on a true story, Eccentric characters, Unlikely friendship, Murder, Texas, Mockumentary, Gossip, Social commentary, Local community, Mortician, Abuse, Cover-up
- Tone:
- deadpan, satirical, humorous, restrained
- Target Audience:
- Indie film enthusiasts, True crime fans, Dark comedy aficionados, Southern culture enthusiasts
- Emotional Arc:
- Amusement → Unease → Disquiet
Bernie

In small-town Texas, affable and popular mortician Bernie Tiede strikes up a friendship with Marjorie Nugent, a wealthy widow well known for her sour attitude. When she becomes controlling and abusive, Bernie goes to great lengths to remove himself from her grasp.
Bernie
A politician's wife and the mortician who has secretly loved her for years plan to fake her death so they can run away together.

The recently deceased Mona Dearly was many things: an abusive wife, a domineering mother, a loud-mouthed neighbor and a violent malcontent. So when her car and corpse are discovered in the Hudson River, police Chief Wyatt Rash immediately suspects murder rather than an accident. But, since the whole community of Verplanck, N.Y., shares a deep hatred for this unceasingly spiteful woman, Rash finds his murder investigation overwhelmed with potential suspects.

When the skeleton of his murdered predecessor is found, Sheriff Sam Deeds unearths many other long-buried secrets in his Texas border town.

A black comedy that follows three generations of a family, who come together for the funeral of the patriarch - unveiling a litany of family secrets and covert relationships.

When a handshake deal goes sour, funeral home owner Jeremiah O'Keefe enlists charismatic, smooth-talking attorney Willie E. Gary to save his family business. Tempers flare and laughter ensues as the unlikely pair bond while exposing corporate corruption and racial injustice.

Conflict arises in the small town of Holly Springs when an old woman's death causes a variety of reactions among family and friends.

Dick died last night, and Zeke and Earl don’t want anybody finding out how. That’s too bad though, cause news travels fast in small-town Alabama.

Hairdresser Nadine Hightower wants to retrieve the risqué photos she once posed for, but when she visits the photographer at his office, he's murdered by an intruder. Nadine talks her estranged husband, Vernon, into going along when she returns to the office, where they stumble across plans for a less than legal construction project. But when Vernon tries to turn the documents into a cash windfall, he and Nadine are pursued by goons with guns.

A family moves to a small California town where they plan on starting a new life running a long-abandoned funeral home. The locals fear the place, suspected to be on haunted ground.

Bizarre back-to-back murders in an otherwise quiet Arizona desert town has rattled local Police Chief Jordan Sanders. The two dead women have no connection to each other – except they’re both named Maggie Moore. While unravelling a web of small-town lies and mysteries, the investigation gets even more complicated when Sanders begins a romantic relationship with one of the murdered women's neighbor, Rita.

Two old friends reconnect at their friend's funeral, and decide to exact revenge on the widower who wronged all three of them decades earlier.

A young man inherits a nearly bankrupt funeral home from his estranged father. He falls in love with the alluring young mortician, only to find out she's offing people to keep the place in business!

The trouble with Harry is that he’s dead. In a quiet Vermont village, a corpse creates unexpected chaos as several townspeople each believe they may be to blame.

Two young insurance corporation employees try to pretend that their murdered employer is alive by puppeteering his dead body, leading a hitman to attempt to track him down to finish him off.

Beverly is the perfect happy homemaker, along with her doting husband and two children, but this nuclear family just might explode when her fascination with serial killers collides with her ever-so-proper code of ethics.

Aaron's father's funeral is today at the family home, and everything goes wrong: the funeral home delivers the wrong body, his cousin accidentally drugs her fiancé, and Aaron's successful younger brother, Ryan, flies in from New York, broke but arrogant. To top it all off, a mysterious stranger wants a word with Aaron.

A small New Mexican village discovers a severed hand that is considered a miracle of God, when it actually belongs to a murdered spouse with a husband in search of it.

Bernice "Bernie" Rhodenbarr is a burglar by trade, and she runs a bookstore as well. Her friend Carl Hefler is a dog groomer. After a successful burglary, it's discovered that a dead body was in the house she burgled. As she's the only one who can be placed at the scene of the crime, she has to use her criminal skills to clear her name of the murder AND avoid getting charged with the burglary.

An overlooked pencil-pusher catches her husband in bed with another woman, the shock of which causes him to die of a heart attack. So she buries his body and takes advantage of the growing celebrity status that comes from having a missing husband. But she quickly finds herself in over her head, dodging cops and criminals, all while trying to keep the truth from her sister, a local news anchor who’s desperate for a story.

The members of a family come to say goodbye to the recently deceased patriarch. But what should have been a heartfelt wake turns into a crazy gathering when one of the attendees reveals the deceased's best kept secret.

Everybody's favorite stiff is back! Working fools Larry Wilson and Richard Parker have uncovered a dirty, little secret: Their former boss, Bernie Lomax, embezzled $2 million and placed it in a safe deposit box in the Caribbean. Now, the boys are ready to go after the loot, but they can't do it alone -- they need poor Bernie's help. Can the buddies give their ex-boss new life?

A small-town beauty queen and an unlicensed mortician set out across the Texas plains on a journey of self-discovery.

Luther Heggs, a typesetter for the town newspaper, pitches an idea for a story about a local haunted house where a famous murder/suicide occurred 20 years earlier. After the editor assigns Luther to spend one night alone in the mansion, Heggs has a number of supernatural encounters and writes a front page story that makes him a hometown hero...until the nephew of the deceased sues him for libel.

A strange mortician tells four horrific tales to three drug dealers that he traps in their local funeral parlor.

Once an architect, Frank Bannister now passes himself off as an exorcist of evil spirits. To bolster his facade, he claims his "special" gift is the result of a car accident that killed his wife. But what he does not count on is more people dying in the small town where he lives. As he tries to piece together the supernatural mystery of these killings, he falls in love with the wife of one of the victims and deals with a crazy FBI agent.

A sex-addicted con-man pays for his mother's hospital bills by playing on the sympathies of those who rescue him from choking to death.

Clay is a young man in a small town who witnesses his friend, Earl, kill himself because of the ongoing affair that Clay was having with the man's wife, Amanda. Feeling guilty, Clay now resists the widow when she presses him to continue with the affair. Clay unknowingly befriends a serial killer named Lester Long who murders the widow in an attempt to "help" his "fishing buddy."

A former mental patient's repressed anger reaches the boiling point, leading him to embark on a mission of revenge against the thugs who once subjected him to severe physical and mental trauma.

Bernie Laplante is having a rough time. He's divorced, his ex-wife hates him and has custody of their son, the cops are setting a trap for him, then to top it all, he loses a shoe whilst rescuing passengers of a crashed jet. Being a thief who is down on his luck, Bernie takes advantage of the crash, but then someone else claims credit for the rescue.

The owner of a seedy small-town Texas bar discovers that one of his employees is having an affair with his wife. A chaotic chain of misunderstandings, lies and mischief ensues after he devises a plot to have them murdered.

Jerry, a small-town Minnesota car salesman is bursting at the seams with debt... but he's got a plan. He's going to hire two thugs to kidnap his wife in a scheme to collect a hefty ransom from his wealthy father-in-law. It's going to be a snap and nobody's going to get hurt... until people start dying. Enter Police Chief Marge, a coffee-drinking, parka-wearing - and extremely pregnant - investigator who'll stop at nothing to get her man. And if you think her small-time investigative skills will give the crooks a run for their ransom... you betcha!

A young woman investigates the seemingly accidental death of her father, revealing many unsettling secrets and putting her in mortal danger.

Juliet Forrest is convinced that the reported death of her father in a mountain car crash was no accident. Her father was a prominent cheese scientist working on a secret recipe. To prove it was murder, she enlists the services of private eye Rigby Reardon. He finds a slip of paper containing a list of people who are 'The Friends and Enemies of Carlotta'.

A man living in rural Wisconsin takes care of his bed-ridden mother, who is very domineering and teaches him that all women are evil. After she dies, he misses her, and a year later digs her up and takes her home. He learns about taxidermy and begins robbing graves to get materials to patch her up, and inevitably begins looking for fresher sources of materials. Based loosely on the true story of Ed Gein.

An eccentric, if not charming Southern professor and his crew pose as a band in order to rob a casino, all under the nose of his unsuspecting landlord – a sharp old woman.

After Dick Harper loses his job at Globodyne in an Enron-esque collapse, he and his wife, Jane, turn to crime in order to handle the massive debt they now face. Two intelligent people, Dick and Jane actually get pretty good at robbing people and even enjoy it -- but they have second thoughts when they're reminded that crime can hurt innocent people. When the couple hears that Globodyne boss Jack McCallister actually swindled the company, they plot revenge.

A simple yet proud rancher conspires to murder his wife for financial gain, convincing his teenage son to participate.

A very gentle middle-aged man is married, but when he falls in love with another woman, he decides that to divorce his wife would humiliate her too much – so instead he decides to kill her.

In the phantasmagorical town of Raven's End, a misguided young girl takes refuge in a decrepit old mortuary. The eccentric undertaker chronicles the strange history of the town through a series of twisted tales, each more terrifying than the last, but the young girl's world is unhinged when she discovers that the final story... is her own.

Wendell Lawson has only six months to live. Not wanting to endure his last few months of life waiting for the end, he decides to take matters into his own hands and enlists the help of a delusional mental patient to help him commit suicide.

Broke and depressed, Ray is mistaken for a dangerous hitman and given an envelope of cash. Along with his P.I. friend Skip, he must escape the actual hitman to make it out of LaRoy alive.

A joyous family reunion becomes a hilarious nightmare as Madea and the crew travel to backwoods Georgia, where they find themselves unexpectedly planning a funeral that might unveil unpleasant family secrets.

The two tradesmen Ib and Edward are tired of their lifeless marriages and dream of living the good life from the stash of money they've earned moonlighting for years. After a huge fight with their wives the two men get drunk and hire a Russian contract killer to do a hit on their spouses. But they have badly underestimated their wives, and this becomes the start of an absurd journey where Ib and Edward to their own horror end at the top of a kill list.

Two garbage men find the body of a city councilman in a trash can on their route. With help from a supervisor, the duo must solve the case and find the man's killer while hiding the body from the cops.

When a man claiming to be long-lost Uncle Fester reappears after 25 years lost, the family plans a celebration to wake the dead. But the kids barely have time to warm up the electric chair before Morticia begins to suspect Fester is fraud when he can't recall any of the details of Fester's life.

Lorna is a strong-willed Texas woman who’s had enough of her untrustworthy husband, Dale’s, criminal acts and lack of husbandry. Fed up, she enlists the help of her old friend, Tiny, to help her figure out what to do with Dale after his latest double-cross involving the theft of $100,000 from a bank.

When a Conservative TV crusader threatens to shut down beloved brothel, the Chicken Ranch, proprietress Miss Mona Stangley and her girls won't go down without a fight.

When a clumsy deadbeat accidentally kills his landlord, he must do everything in his power to hide the body, only to find that the distractions of lust, the death of his beloved brother, and a crew of misfit characters force him on a journey where a fortune awaits him.

Five oddball criminals planning a bank robbery rent rooms on a cul-de-sac from an octogenarian widow under the pretext that they are classical musicians.

In a small Minnesota town, the annual beauty pageant is being covered by a TV crew. Former winner Gladys Leeman wants to make sure her daughter follows in her footsteps; explosions, falling lights, and trailer fires prove that. As the Leemans are the richest family in town, the police are pretty relaxed about it all. Despite everything, main rival (but sweet) Amber Atkins won't give up without a fight.

Earl and Baby, two young lovers with a plan to escape their small Texas town. But when Baby's dim-witted cousin Junior gets tangled up in a whole heap of trouble, Earl has just 48 hours to save the day, rescue Junior and keep his promise to get his Baby to Los Angeles in time for sweeps.

Three sisters try to come to grips with the meaning of their mother's suicide.

A cop who moonlights as a hit man agrees to kill the hated mother of a desperate drug dealer in exchange for a tumble with the young man's virginal sister.

Everyone hates Ward’s wife and wants her dead, Ward most of all. But when his friends’ murderous fantasies turn into an (accidental) reality, they have to deal with a whole new set of problems — like how to dispose of the body and still make their 3 p.m. tee time.

Fed up of his business partner, Ernest Trend hires the services of two exterminators. When things go drastically wrong and they murder the wrong man, the race is on to frame an innocent video surveillance man.

In 1935 rural Texas, recently widowed Edna Spaulding struggles to survive with two small children, a farm to run, and very little money in the bank - not to mention a deadly tornado and the unwelcome presence of the Ku Klux Klan. Edna is aided by her beautician sister, Margaret; a blind boarder, Mr. Will; and a would-be thief, Moze, who decides to teach Edna how to plant and harvest cotton.

In a small town lost in the middle of nowhere, Edmond Zweck's funeral business is on the wing. The company now has only two employees: Georges, Zweck's right-hand man, and Eddy, a young man still a novice in the trade. One fine morning, however, a dead man pointed his nose. Hope is born again. Georges and Eddy are responsible for leading the deceased to his last abode. But in search of the cemetery that can not be found, the funeral convoy goes astray and the journey turns into a fiasco.

A small town policeman must investigate a suspicious hunting accident. The investigation and other events result in him slowly disintegrating mentally.

Five different criminals face imminent death after botching a job quite badly.

Billy, once the coolest kid in high school, comes back to his hometown 15 years later to find he’s no longer cool and the girl he still has feelings for now dates the former class outcast. Billy becomes obsessed with proving the outcast is a murderer.

Rory and Cobby are unlikely partners thrown together for a heist. But when it goes awry, they team up with an unusual accomplice — Rory's therapist — to outrun police, backward bureaucrats, and a vengeful crime boss.

A frustrated, unemployed teacher joins forces with a scammer and his girlfriend in a blackmailing scheme.

Marjorie Turner is suffocating in her marriage and day to day life. An extramarital affair with a stranger seems to be the answer until her paramour has a fatal heart attack, and turns out to be less of a stranger than she could have thought...

Marty Mackenzie is an unsuccessful stage actor who takes an interest in private investigating. He takes a job working with Jack Potter, a crusty private eye. They both take a case in Beaver Ridge, a seedy small town where a murder is being planned against a rich gravel pit owner. Marty realizes that private investigating is not as it seemed to be.

In the Texas bayous, a local homicide detective teams up with a cop from New York City to investigate a series of unsolved murders.

When investigative reporter Irwin "Fletch" Fletcher goes undercover to write a piece on the drug trade at a local beach, he's approached by wealthy businessman Alan Stanwyk, who offers him $50,000 to murder him. With sarcastic wit and a knack for disguises, Fletch sets out to uncover Stanwyk's story.

Larry Donner, an author with a cruel ex-wife, teaches a writing workshop in which one of his students, Owen, is fed up with his domineering mother. When Owen watches a Hitchcock classic that seems to mirror his own life, he decides to put the movie's plot into action and offers to kill Larry's ex-wife, if Larry promises to murder his mom. Before Larry gets a chance to react to the plan, it seems that Owen has already set things in motion.

A movie crew invades a small town whose residents are all too ready to give up their values for showbiz glitz.

A dentist finds himself a murder suspect after a sexy patient seduces him into prescribing her drugs.

Four stories... one city. A dark comedy about crime in the big city: EL TORZON - two friends are smoking grass in their car, when they're caught by a corrupt Judicial Police Officer; VIDA EXPRESS - a wealthy businesswoman is kidnapped and her deadbeat husband has to come up with the money; BARBACOA DE CHIVO - an angry mob mistakes a college professor with a burglar and decide to lynch him in front of the church; COMIDA PARA PERROS - a bumbling thief tries to rob a restaurant

After the forcible transfer to his Bavarian home village, an ex-criminal cop investigates the death of a school principal who he thinks had lots to hide.

Terror grips a small mountain town as bodies are discovered after each full moon. Losing sleep, raising a teenage daughter, and caring for his ailing father, officer Marshall struggles to remind himself there's no such thing as werewolves.

Four stories intersect in this violent film parody. Exterminators dress as hit men and try to protect the wife of their boss, Montello. Meanwhile, the strippers at Montello's strip club, dressed as nuns, attempt to rob him. Tag-team wrestlers steal Montello's briefcase, thinking its contents are valuable. Finally, Bumpkin, running to deliver a script, loses a lot of the pages.

After a series of gory murders commited by mobs of townspeople against visiting tourists, the corpses appear to be coming back to life and living normally as locals in the small town.

A low-budget film crew working in New York City find themselves being preyed upon by a sexually conflicted serial killer.

A myriad of outrageous calamities befalls an eccentric English clan with more than a few skeletons in its closets when the family's patriarch dies an unexpected death.

The true story of Forrest Tucker, from his audacious escape from San Quentin at the age of 70 to an unprecedented string of heists that confounded authorities and enchanted the public. Wrapped up in the pursuit are a detective, who becomes captivated with Forrest’s commitment to his craft, and a woman, who loves him in spite of his chosen profession.

Dane ‘Marbles’ Marbeck can see ghosts, thanks to a homemade drug: his late father’s neurological medication mixed with marijuana. Officer Jayson Tagg, a wannabe super-cop on the trail of a serial killer, ends up murdered. So when Marbles’ mum plans to sell the family farm, and the only way of buying the house off her is taking the money offered by Tagg in exchange for his help, Marbles accepts. The unlikely duo of stoner medium and ghost cop struggle to reconcile their differences while they navigate their way through ghouls, perverts, a mysterious hooded figure, and an unexpected shot at love. It becomes clear the only way Marbles and Tagg will solve the case with their souls intact is to confront their deepest regrets and overcome their prejudices.

A death-obsessed cleaning woman uncovers a clue identifying a Florida bartender for a series of socialite murders.

Eccentric and full of manias, Michele is a young high school professor who defines himself as “not used to happiness”. He realizes his life is meaningless if he doesn’t have a woman by his side but, after a series of rather disastrous experiences, he feels more alone than ever. Then, out of the blue, a new French teacher called Bianca arrives at school. Amongst uncertainties and contradictions, the two start dating. In the meantime, a series of homicides take place and a police officer begins to suspect that Michele is involved. Bianca will save him providing an alibi at the right moment, but then, everything goes wrong again.

When brash Texas border officer Mike Norton wrongfully kills and buries the friend and ranch hand of Pete Perkins, the latter is reminded of a promise he made to bury his friend, Melquiades Estrada, in his Mexican home town. He kidnaps Norton and exhumes Estrada's corpse, and the odd caravan sets out on horseback for Mexico.

Deputy Sheriff Lou Ford is a pillar of the community in his small west Texas town, patient and apparently thoughtful. Some people think he is a little slow and maybe boring, but that is the worst they say about him. But then nobody knows about what Lou calls his "sickness": He is a brilliant, but disturbed sociopathic sadist.

A middle-aged couple suspects foul play when their neighbor's wife suddenly drops dead.

To remedy his financial problems, a travel agent has his eye on a frozen corpse, which just happens to be sought after by two hitmen.

A retired businesswoman – who tries to control everything around her – decides to write her own obituary. A young journalist takes up the task of finding out the truth, and the result is a life-altering friendship.

Joey Boca is the owner of a pizza parlour, and has been married to Rosalie for years. When Rosalie discovers that Joey is a womanizer and has been cheating on her for a long time, she goes to extreme lengths to punish him.

A journalist and podcaster from New York City travels to West Texas in order to report on the death of a girl he was hooking up with.

The third installment in the successful Bad Ass action-comedy franchise. Bad Asses on the Bayou reunites the dynamic duo, Frank Vega (Danny Trejo) and Bernie Pope (Danny Glover), as they travel to Louisiana to attend the wedding of their dear friend Carmen Gutierrez (Loni Love). What was pictured as a wedding weekend escape to the south turns violently ugly as madness and mayhem ensue, pressing our senior heroes to once again serve justice.

On a secluded farm in a nondescript rural town, a man is slowly dying. His family gathers to mourn, and soon a darkness grows, marked by waking nightmares and a growing sense that something evil is taking over the family.

Two friends hired to police a small town that is suffering under the rule of a rancher find their job complicated by the arrival of a young widow.

Wealthy rancher Bick Benedict and dirt-poor cowboy Jett Rink both woo Leslie Lynnton, a beautiful young woman from Maryland who is new to Texas. She marries Benedict, but she is shocked by the racial bigotry of the White Texans against the local people of Mexican descent. Rink discovers oil on a small plot of land, and while he uses his vast, new wealth to buy all the land surrounding the Benedict ranch, the Benedict's disagreement over prejudice fuels conflict that runs across generations.

A no-nonsense cop has a flair for fashion and a celebrity takes revenge on the paparazzi in a collection of comedic sketches.

A boozy lowlife tries to bury the truth about his crazy stepson's suspicious death, but a nosy newspaper columnist and the young man's mother complicate matters.

When an elderly millionaire is found dead with cocaine in his system, his will leaves $8 million to Rebecca Carlson, who was having an affair with him. District attorney Robert Garrett decides to prosecute Rebecca, arguing that she deliberately engaged in wild sex with the old man to overexcite him and lead to his premature death. Defense attorney Frank Dulaney defends Rebecca in court while getting sucked into a dangerous affair with her.

A police chief in northern France tries to solve a case where an old woman was brutally murdered on Christmas Eve. However, in a neighborhood rife with crime, everyone seems to be a suspect.

A movie spun out of equal parts folk tale, fable and real-life legend about the mysterious, 1930s Tennessee hermit who famously threw his own rollicking funeral party... while he was still alive.

Two men in 1930s Mississippi become friends after being sentenced to life in prison together for a crime they did not commit.

The roguishly charming and endlessly troublesome Fletch becomes the prime suspect in a murder case while searching for a stolen art collection. The only way to prove his innocence? Find out which of the long list of suspects is the culprit - from the eccentric art dealer and a missing playboy to a crazy neighbor and Fletch’s Italian girlfriend. Crime, in fact, has never been this disorganized.

