The Hebrew HammerMovies like The Hebrew Hammer
- Key Features:
- Parody, Satire, Jewish culture, Holiday theme, Action comedy, Blaxploitation, Stereotypes, Cult classic, Charismatic protagonist, Buddy Comedy
- Tone:
- humorous, satirical, witty
- Target Audience:
- Fans of cult comedies, Viewers interested in satire, Those seeking irreverent humor, Fans of Blaxploitation films
- Emotional Arc:
- Amusement → Excitement
The Hebrew Hammer

When a psychotic Santa tries to destroy Chanukah by hypnotizing Jewish children with bootlegged copies of the Christmas classic "It's a Wonderful Life," it's up to the Hebrew Hammer to save the day. Together with Mohammed, head of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front, the Hammer takes no prisoners in his quest to hunt down the renegade Santa and make the holiday season safe for all.
The Hebrew Hammer
A rowdy, unorthodox Santa Claus is fighting to save his declining business. Meanwhile, Billy, a neglected and precocious 12 year old, hires a hit man to kill Santa after receiving a lump of coal in his stocking.

Winnie's life is less than wonderful one year after saving her town from a psychotic killer on Christmas Eve. When she wishes she was never born, she finds herself magically transported to a nightmarish parallel universe. With the murderous maniac now back, she must team up with a misfit to identify the culprit and get back to her own reality.

An Israeli counterterrorism soldier with a secretly fabulous ambition to become a Manhattan hairstylist. Zohan's desire runs so deep that he'll do anything -- including faking his own death and going head-to-head with an Arab cab driver -- to make his dreams come true.

Fueled by cheap whiskey, greed and hatred, Willie Soke teams up with his angry little sidekick, Marcus, to knock off a Chicago charity on Christmas Eve. Along for the ride is chubby and cheery Thurman Merman, a 250-pound ray of sunshine who brings out Willie's sliver of humanity. Issues arise when the pair are joined by Willie's horror story of a mother, who raises the bar for the gang's ambitions, while somehow lowering the standards of criminal behavior.

The heroic story of a dictator who risks his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.

After discovering he's not really black like the rest of his family, likable dimwit Navin Johnson sets off on a hilarious misadventure that takes him from rags to riches and back again. The slaphappy jerk strikes it rich, but life in the fast lane isn't all it's cracked up to be and, in the end, all that really matters to Johnson is his true love.

The Bettoun clan: Raymond (the patriarch), Maurice (the son), Jacky (the nephew), Roland (the nephew), Albert (Raymond's cousin), Pépé (Raymond's friend), Samy (the bodyguard) are a family clan of Jewish Blackfoot kingpins of French organized crime. Their activities include running casinos, organizing underground boxing matches, illegal gambling, pimping, racketeering and bloody settlements of scores against other Arab and French clans. But in the shadows, Pascal Villars has sworn the loss of the Bettoun. He will succeed in setting the Arab clan against the Jewish clan, for the great benefit of the police commissioner Duché, who has been trying in vain for ten years to bring down the Bettouns.

When a team of mercenaries breaks into a wealthy family compound on Christmas Eve, taking everyone inside hostage, the team isn’t prepared for a surprise combatant: Santa Claus is on the grounds, and he’s about to show why this Nick is no saint.

Brother Rabbit, Brother Bear, and Preacher Fox rise to the top of the crime ranks in Harlem by going up against a con-man, a racist cop, and the Mafia.

After Santa Claus (codename: Red One) is kidnapped, the North Pole's Head of Security must team up with the world's most infamous tracker in a globe-trotting, action-packed mission to save Christmas.

Santa Claus is actually a demon who lost a bet with an angel, so he became the giver of toys and happiness. But this year the bet is off, and Santa is about to return to his evil ways.

Agent Jesus Juarez (aka Chucho) has always played the Devil in his town's Nativity Play. This Christmas, when the new pastor of the church recasts the role, the two men engage in a battle between good and evil.

Two neurotics, working for a suicide hotline on the night of Christmas Eve, get caught up in a catastrophe when a pregnant woman, her abusive boyfriend, and a transvestite visit their office.

An action comedy centered on Blubberella, an overweight half-vampire woman whose footsteps cause explosions and whose dual swords are used against anyone who makes fun of her. She must face an army of undead Nazi soldiers in her valiant struggle against bloodshed and tyranny.

The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight.

A fateful meeting with a mysterious stranger inspires Pee-wee Herman to take his first-ever holiday.

You'd better watch out - Santa Claus Willie T. Soke is coming to town, and he doesn't care if you've been naughty or nice. Wille's favorite holiday tradition is to fill his sacks with loot lifted from shopping malls across the country. But this year his plot gets derailed by a wisecracking store detective, a sexy bartender, and a kid who's convinced Willie is the real Santa Claus.

Santa Claus tries to outrun a gang of knife-wielding youth. It's one of several vignettes of Palestinian life in Israel - in a neighborhood in Nazareth and at Al-Ram checkpoint in East Jerusalem. Most of the stories are droll, some absurd, one is mythic and fanciful; few words are spoken. A man who goes through his mail methodically each morning has a heart attack. His son visits him in the hospital. The son regularly meets a woman at Al-Ram; they sit in a car, hands caressing. Once, she defies Israeli guards at the checkpoint; later, ninja-like, she takes on soldiers at a target range. A red balloon floats free overhead. Neighbors toss garbage over walls. Life goes on until it doesn't.

After losing the love of his life to a cruel Philistine prince, a young Hebrew with Supernatural strength defends his people, sacrificing everything to avenge his love, his people, and his God.

Jesus, who's hitting the big 3-0, brings a surprise guest to meet the family. A Christmas special so wrong it must be from comedians Porta dos Fundos.

Four carolling children meet Jesus and Santa Claus and learn the true meaning of Christmas.

The twisted paths of three very different men brutally collide due to a chain of unspeakable murders: a grieving father who has been doomed to seek vengeance and a police detective who boldly crosses the narrow boundary between law and crime meet a religion teacher suspected of being the murderer.

When his dysfunctional family clashes over the holidays, young Max is disillusioned and turns his back on Christmas. Little does he know, this lack of festive spirit has unleashed the wrath of Krampus: a demonic force of ancient evil intent on punishing non-believers.

Six years have elapsed since Guantanamo Bay, leaving Harold and Kumar estranged from one another with very different families, friends and lives. But when Kumar arrives on Harold's doorstep during the holiday season with a mysterious package in hand, he inadvertently burns down Harold's father-in-law's beloved Christmas tree. To fix the problem, Harold and Kumar embark on a mission through New York City to find the perfect Christmas tree, once again stumbling into trouble at every single turn.

Smitten with a Jewish woman, a gentile asks his Jewish pal to advise him on how to act like a member of the community.

Davey Stone, a 33-year old party animal, finds himself in trouble with the law after his wild ways go too far.

A Dennis The Menace version of A Christmas Carol where Mr. Wilson plays his own version of Scrooge. While Dennis has problems of his own with the neighborhood bully, he does his best to try and give Mr. Wilson the Christmas Spirit. Dennis causes his usual damage and Mr. Wilson ends up breaking Dennis' spirit. An Angel of Christmas Past Present and Future steps in to help save Christmas for the Mitchells, the Wilsons, and everyone else.

In this riot of frantic disguises and mistaken identities, Victor Pivert, a blustering, bigoted French factory owner, finds himself taken hostage by Slimane, an Arab rebel leader. The two dress up as rabbis as they try to elude not only assasins from Slimane's country, but also the police, who think Pivert is a murderer. Pivert ends up posing as Rabbi Jacob, a beloved figure who's returned to France for his first visit after 30 years in the United States. Adding to the confusion are Pivert's dentist-wife, who thinks her husband is leaving her for another woman, their daughter, who's about to get married, and a Parisian neighborhood filled with people eager to celebrate the return of Rabbi Jacob.

Biblical archaeologist Don Verdean is hired by a local church pastor to find faith-promoting relics in the Holy Land. But after a fruitless expedition he is forced to get creative in this comedy of faith and fraud.

Pootie Tang, the musician/actor/folk hero of the ghetto, is chronicled from his early childhood to his battles against the evil Corporate America, who try to steal his magic belt and make him sell out by endorsing addictive products to his people. Pootie must learn to find himself and defeat the evil corporation for all the young black children of America, supatime.

A cynical anti-American Hollywood filmmaker sets out on a crusade to abolish the 4th of July holiday. He is visited by three spirits who take him on a hilarious journey in an attempt to show him the true meaning of America.

An Israeli anti-terrorist agent must stop a disgruntled Vietnam vet cooperating in a Black September PLO plot to commit a terrorist attack at the Super Bowl.

Howard Langston, a salesman for a mattress company, is constantly kept busy at his job, disappointing his son. After he misses his son's karate exposition, Howard vows to make it up to him by buying an action figure of his son's favorite television hero for Christmas. Unfortunately for Howard, it is Christmas Eve, and every store is sold out of Turbo Man. Now, Howard must travel all over town and compete with everybody else to find a Turbo Man action figure.

Pitch, the mean-spirited devil, is trying to ruin Christmas. Santa Claus teams up with Merlin the Magician and the children of the world in order to save the day!

A re-imagining of the old mystical folklore that follows a woman and a tight-knit Jewish community that is besieged by foreign invaders. She conjures a dangerous creature to protect them but it may be more evil than she ever imagined.

As Carl Black gets the opportunity to move his family out of Chicago in hope of a better life, their arrival in Beverly Hills is timed with that city's annual purge, where all crime is legal for twelve hours.

A tough, Jewish ex-con just released from prison crosses a powerful drug dealer and former prison rival in his return to a life of crime.

When a couple of lazy hunter-gatherers are banished from their primitive village, they set off on an epic journey through the ancient world.

When North Korean ruler Kim Jong-il orchestrates a global terrorist plot, it's up to the heavily armed, highly specialized Team America unit to stop his dastardly scheme. The group, which has recruited troubled Broadway actor Gary Johnston, not only has to face off against Jong-il, but they must also contend with the Film Actors Guild, a cadre of Hollywood liberals at odds with Team America's 'policing the world' tactics.

After being accidentally stranded at the North Pole, the Minions decide to embrace their new surroundings by taking on the role of Santa's helpers. Chaos and hilarity ensue as they attempt to prove their worth as elves, bringing their signature mischief to the workshop in this festive, lighthearted holiday adventure.

Fred Claus and Santa Claus have been estranged brothers for many years. Now Fred must reconcile his differences with his brother whom he believes overshadows him. When an efficiency expert assesses the workings at the North Pole and threatens to shut Santa down, Fred must help his brother to save Christmas.

A lowly stable elf finds that he is the only one who can stop an invasion of the North Pole by using the secret of Santa's Sleigh, a TimeGlobe, to travel back in time to Save Santa - twice.

Xixo is back again. This time, his children accidentally stow away on a fast-moving poachers' truck, unable to get off, and Xixo sets out to rescue them. Along the way, he encounters a couple of soldiers trying to capture each other and a pilot and passenger of a small plane, who are each having a few problems of their own.

Brian Cohen is an average young Jewish man, but through a series of ridiculous events, he gains a reputation as the Messiah. When he's not dodging his followers or being scolded by his shrill mother, the hapless Brian has to contend with the pompous Pontius Pilate and acronym-obsessed members of a separatist movement. Rife with Monty Python's signature absurdity, the tale finds Brian's life paralleling Biblical lore, albeit with many more laughs.

To keep their annual Holiday Heist-tacular afloat, Mr. Wolf and his crew of animal outlaws will have to restore the whole city's Christmas spirit — fast!

When the eternally optimistic Poppy, queen of the Trolls, learns that the Bergens no longer have any holidays on their calendar, she enlists the help of Branch and the rest of the gang on a delightfully quirky mission to fix something that the Bergens don't think is broken.

When a Black oil well worker is killed by a band of California neo-Nazis, his gun-wielding grandmother busts out of her retirement home to avenge him.

Ray Pluto has many problems. He is satirized in the tabloids as the "loser cop." His partner is starting to seem suspiciously attracted to him. A pair of screenwriters across the hall keep bugging him for help. The superintendent of his building is stabbed by hoodlums hired by his own rebellious daughter. To top it off, a sexually aggressive chiropractor may just be Ray's undoing.

Garbed in his red suit, Harry, a toy factory worker, decides that the only thing he can do to save the spirit of Christmas is to become Santa Claus himself and make all of the naughty townspeople pay... in blood!

A case of mistaken identity forces a Federal agent and a dental supply salesman to team up as they speed through the streets of Detroit to pull off a sting operation and solve the murder of the agent's former partner.

A holiday-hating detective is forced to solve a murder — and save Christmas — with help from famous trainees who must improv their way through the case.

Kevin McCallister's parents have split up. Now living with his mom, he decides to spend Christmas with his dad at the mansion of his father's rich girlfriend, Natalie. Meanwhile robber Marv Merchants, one of the villains from the first two movies, partners up with a new criminal named Vera to hit Natalie's mansion.

It's Christmastime, and the Griswolds are preparing for a family seasonal celebration. But things never run smoothly for Clark, his wife Ellen, and their two kids. Clark's continual bad luck is worsened by his obnoxious family guests, but he manages to keep going, knowing that his Christmas bonus is due soon.

In a sleepy mountain town, Cindy witnesses the murder of her parents by a blood-thirsty green figure in a red Santa suit. Twenty years later, the Christmas-hating monster begins to terrorize the town once more. Cindy finds new purpose in stopping the creature and saving the holiday.

A nationwide manhunt for Hank Venture leads to untold dangers and unexpected revelations, while The Monarch is literally out for Dr Venture's blood. An imposing evil from the past reemerges to wreak havoc on the Ventures, The Guild, and even the Monarch marriage—it will take friends and foes alike to restore the Ventures' world to order… or end it once and for all.

Four separate stories deal with stereotypical ideas about Jews: their alleged influence on politics, the stereotype of Jewish business-mindedness, the Mossad, the Jewish world conspiracy and the memory of the Holocaust.

Penurious but muscle-bound Blake Thorne has made a vast fortune marketing health food and health supplements. He once was a nice fellow, but as his wealth increases, he becomes increasingly self-centered and decadent. One day, he gets in a great paint-gun fight that goes too far. Blake escapes the cops by running into a shopping mall, quickly donning a Santa Suit and pretending to be St. Nick. A head injury causes Blake to suffer amnesia, and an opportunistic "elf" decides to convince Blake that he is indeed Santa. This leads "Santa" to help save an orphanage, filled with adorable moppets, from the machinations of a greedy, insane doctor.

Likeable 6th grader Liam writes to Santa asking him to prove that he's real. But Liam is dyslexic and accidentally sends his letter to Satan instead, who shows up at Liam's house, excited to have his first fanboy letter and wanting a little of Liam's soul.

Lanny and Wayne are at it again! With the Big 2-5 fast approaching, Wayne and Lanny must race to recover classified North Pole technology which has fallen into the hands of a computer-hacking Naughty Kid! Desperate to prevent Christmas from descending into chaos, Wayne seeks out the foremost Naughty Kid expert to aid in the mission: a bombastic member of the Coal Bucket Brigade who also happens to be his estranged brother, Noel.

This day-in-the-life cult comedy focuses on a group of friends working at Sully Boyar's Car Wash in the Los Angeles ghetto. The team meets dozens of eccentric customers -- including a smooth-talking preacher, a wacky cab driver and an ex-convict -- while cracking politically incorrect jokes to a constant soundtrack of disco and funk. Some of the workers find romance as the day moves along, but most are just happy to get through another shift.

Everyone knows that being a teenager is not easy, especially when you are a demigod with unlimited powers and risking being crucified at any moment, this is the life of Jesus Christ in his new school.

Hubie Dubois, despite his devotion to his hometown of Salem, Massachusetts (and its legendary Halloween celebration), is a figure of mockery for kids and adults alike. But this year, something really is going bump in the night, and it’s up to Hubie to save Halloween.

Further adventures of Bobby, Benji, and Huey in their pursuit of sex in the 50's. While preparing for their final exams, they try to work out if it's better to be going steady with one girl, and if changing girlfriends all the time leads to too many complications. This leads to frustrations with girls who wont go all the way, and problems with girls will go all the way with anyone!

After getting fired from his job, a slick, fast-talking businessman is thrown into an elf competition to become Santa¹s next second-in-command. Put through a series of rigorous training exercises to prepare for the contest, The Miz and another aspiring elf go head-to-head in the hopes of becoming Santa¹s Little Helper.

In ancient times, a man named Claus, who delivers toys in his small village, fulfils his destiny to become Santa Claus after meeting an expert toy-making elf, Patch, in the North Pole. In the present day, Santa Claus has become overwhelmed by his workload, and the disgruntled Patch flees the workshop to New York City. There, Patch unknowingly threatens the fate of Christmas by taking a job at a failing toy company run by a scheming businessman.

A Jewish homicide detective investigates a seemingly minor murder and falls in with a Zionist group as a result.

Approaching forty, Ferro is unsatisfied with his life as a construction worker and part-time boxing instructor in Los Angeles, CA. After a successful bout with a young pro boxer, Ferro decides to don the gloves one last time. The movie recounts his unlikely quest for Olympic gold.

When his grandfather suddenly falls ill, holiday-hating Jules learns of his family's magical legacy and realizes he's the only hope to save Christmas.

An LA detective is murdered because she has microfilm with the recipe to make cocaine cookies. Two cops partner to find and stop the fiends before they can dope the nation by distributing their wares via the 'Wilderness Girls' cookie drive.

Four mini-movie escapades starring the Minions, with various special guest appearances, all to celebrate the holidays!

Jeffrey, a gay man living in New York City with an overwhelming fear of contracting AIDS, concludes that being celibate is the only option to protect himself. As fate would have it, shortly after his declaration of a sex-free existence, he meets the handsome Steve Howard, his dream man -- except for his HIV-positive status. Facing this dilemma, Jeffrey turns to his best friend and an outrageous priest for guidance.

The evil is set to damper another Christmas season for the children's home. Can the Scooby gang warm his heart?

On Christmas Eve, Greg, a solitary and taciturn police officer, doesn't hesitate to leave his daughter behind to go on a mission. To teach him a lesson, Santa Claus decides to grant his daughter's wish: that her father looks like Richard Silestone, the good-natured and heavily indebted family man from the beloved Christmas movie she adores. While Greg is sent into this improbable world, Richard accidentally lands in the real world and both men realize they have no choice but to complete each other's missions to reclaim their respective lives.

A TV movie special that compiles of a few Looney Tunes episodes centered around an episode of a Christmas Carol, with the part of Scrooge played by Yosemite Sam.

An ordinary man frustrated with the various flaws he sees in society begins to psychotically and violently lash out against them.

When Butch, Postmaster P, and Stray Bullet loot the local hip-hop mogul's studio to fund their demo album, the threesome unwittingly ends up with the secret of Mack Daddy's success: a magical flute. Their gigs instantly turn golden but a blood-thristy Leprechaun and an angry Mack Daddy are hot on their trail, leaving a wake of destruction tainted by politically incorrect limericks.

Set in the world of mega-churches in which a former Deadhead-turned-born-again-Christian finds himself on the run from fundamentalist members of his mega-church who will do anything to protect their larger-than-life pastor.

Salam, an inexperienced young Palestinian man, becomes a writer on a popular soap opera after a chance meeting with an Israeli soldier. His creative career is on the rise - until the soldier and the show's financial backers disagree about how the show should end, and Salam is caught in the middle.

Adolf Hitler is hiding out in California under the identity of Adolf Schwartz; however, he is soon murdered by a mysterious assailant. This coincides with the arrival of a mysterious woman in a nearby town. Whatever the case might be, nobody seems interested in investigating the crime, but there are many who are interested in her.

Four everyday suburban guys come together as an excuse to escape their humdrum lives one night a week. But when they accidentally discover that their town has become overrun with aliens posing as ordinary suburbanites, they have no choice but to save their neighborhood – and the world – from total extermination.

A bad Polish actor is just trying to make a living when Poland is invaded by the Germans in World War II. His wife has the habit of entertaining young Polish officers while he's on stage, which is also a source of depression to him. When one of her officers comes back on a Secret Mission, the actor takes charge and comes up with a plan for them to escape.

Christmas is on its way and with it disaster. The 92,000 responsible for manufacturing children's toys all become sick at the same time! It's a tough moment for Santa, better known as Father Christmas. He's left no choice: he must make an emergency trip to Earth with his reindeer to search for a remedy. When he arrives, he must find some allies to save the magic of Christmas.

Inspired by actual events in the late nineties when Hasidic Jews were recruited as mules to smuggle ecstasy from Europe into the United States.

A gang of thieves calling themselves the Santa Claus Gang are wreaking havoc, and the police can't keep up. Police Captain Gilbert is distracted by a Chinese reporter writing a story on his squad, and taxi driver Daniel is in the midst of a relationship crisis. After a string of mistakes in which the thieves outsmart the police time and time again, Daniel and his super-taxi pitch in.

A group of toy store employees must protect each other from a horde of parasite infected shoppers.

An Afro-American organization, the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D., is in permanent fight against a white organization "The Man" defending the values of the black people in North America. When the Afro-American candidate Gen. Warren Boutwell behaves strangely in his presidential campaign, Undercover Brother is hired to work undercover for "The Man" and find what happened with the potential candidate.

Jack Spade returns from the army in his old ghetto neighbourhood when his brother, June Bug, dies. Jack declares war on Mr. Big, powerful local crimelord. His army is led by John Slade, his childhood idol who used to fight bad guys in the 70s.

Henry Howard, an ambitious young scientist struggles to develop a super human serum designed to improve muscle mass and prolong life expectancy. His boss, the grumpy General Darwin, will not allow Hank to marry his daughter, Hannah, until the experiment is a success. Against Darwin's wishes Hank proposes to Hannah anyway, but his life is shattered by a mugger who steals his engagement ring. Dejected, Hank injects himself with the experimental serum and is transformed into the Amazing Bulk. The Bulk goes on a rampage through the city destroying everything in his path. Hank is caught by a relentless detective, imprisoned by Darwin and forced to battle the sadistic Dr. Kantlove, who threatens to blow up the moon with his arsenal of weapons.

Burdened by troubles and caught between cultures, Riza takes a job as a mall Santa and finds that real life may not be so different from make believe.

The movie follows a group of young friends in the city of Tel Aviv and is as much a love song to the city as it is an exploration of the claim that people in Tel Aviv are isolated from the rest of the country and the turmoil it's going through. The movie looks at young people's lives in Tel Aviv through the POVs of gays and straights, Jews and Arabs, men and women.

A cat burglar is forced to take a bickering, dysfunctional family hostage on Christmas Eve.

In 1996, brash L.A. detective John Spartan and maniac killer Simon Phoenix are both sentenced to decades in a cryogenic prison as punishment for a rescue mission gone wrong. When Phoenix escapes 36 years later to wreak havoc on the future, Spartan is awakened to capture his nemesis the old-fashioned way.

Now that Santa and Mrs. Claus have the North Pole running smoothly, the Counsel of Legendary Figures has called an emergency meeting on Christmas Eve! The evil Jack Frost has been making trouble, looking to take over the holiday! So he launches a plan to sabotage the toy factory and compel Scott to invoke the little-known Escape Clause and wish he'd never become Santa.

Jeremy, a local police officer leads a life of a confusing past, spending his current time searching for his kidnapper as a child. After other children begin missing, Jeremy pieces together the truth and realizes that his childhood kidnapper could be a creature of ancient yuletide lore, Krampus, who is the brother of St. Nick, and punisher of children who perform acts of unspeakable evil without repercussion. Can Jeremy kill Krampus and prevent more missing children?

The holidays get overly festive as Olaf "Gunn" Gunnunderson, an out-and-proud gay college student, crawls back into the closet to survive the holidays with his parents. But when his boyfriend, Nathan, shows up at their doorstep unannounced, Gunn must put on a charade to keep the relationship a secret. With pressure mounting from all sides, will Gunn come out before the truth does?

Eric and Ramzy are working as window washers at the Montparnasse skyscraper in Paris. Thinking that he has a date set up with beautiful executive Marie-Joelle (who in reality hates his guts), Ramzy stays at work late while Eric hangs around with him. As a result, the pair witness a gang of terrorists seize the tower and take its late-night occupants (including Marie- Joelle) hostage. Knowing that only they can save the day, Eric and Ramzy swing into action.

A mid-level corporate employee finds out he’s not getting the Christmas bonus he was expecting, but his boss invites him to earn a promotion by beating his professional rival in a violent competition.

Barry B. Benson, a recent college graduate who wants more out of his life than making honey, decides to sue the human race after learning about the exploitation of bees at the hands of mankind. What will happen next?

Jackie Chan stars as Asian Hawk, an Indiana Jones-style adventurer looking to make a fortune in exotic antiquities. After Hawk discovers a mysterious sword in Africa, a band of Satan-worshipping monks kidnap his ex-girlfriend Lorelei, demanding the sword as ransom as well as other pieces of the legendary Armour of God - a magical outfit dating back to the Crusades.
